Dublin is putting up double nickels today, friends!
Yep, your girl is 55, and I’m coming in hot-ish with this energy from a fellow ferocious Taurus.
By the skin of my fingertips, but still. In that very GenX way, I still think I’m around 36. Probably because that’s when I was the happiest, but I shouldn’t dwell too much, even though birthdays are ripe ground for mining the misery of your memories.
I share my birthday with Carol Burnett, who’s my second mother as far as I’m concerned, as well as Roger Taylor from Duran Duran.
And Melania. Ew. But hey, both of us got our dream birthday gift this year, which is Trump being publicly humiliated in court.
As an adult, I’ve had some sucky birthdays and I’ve had some amazing birthdays, like everyone else. I’ve been sick on my birthday, but I’ve also had a house full of people celebrating me. I’ve been alone on my birthday THANKS COVID LOCKDOWNS and I’ve been on stage on my birthday.
If I’m allowed to be demandy for one day a year, one ask would be to get these questions answered. I’ve only been waiting since 2001, it’s all good.
Birthdays are weird when you don’t have a partner to make your day into a thing. I’ve been single FOREVER, so I’ve had to plan any celebrations if I wanted them to happen. It’s awkward to have to tell your kids they need to get you a present or take you to brunch. You feel obnoxious for telling people it’s your birthday, but it’s also okay if you tell people.
Facebook tells all of your friends that it’s your birthday. I always try to focus on who took the time to wish me a happy birthday than who didn’t.
It’s great when your friends are happy to hang out with you, but when you don’t have a partner, there’s almost no way to be surprised on your birthday.
When I turned 50, I tried to make it into as big of a deal as I could despite only being somewhat newly acquainted with my friends in the Low Bar Chorale community. Our beloved Beti and her sister Jenny opened their legendary party house for the cause. My friend Mimi nearly exhausted herself getting mylar balloons to spell out “TARA 50” and then tied them to a porch railing, only to see the “5” fly away, so it spelled out “TARA 0” and I couldn’t stop laughing. Because of course that happened.
My friend Jennie had arranged for the cake. At my request, it was to be a simple yellow cake with buttercream frosting. The day before the party, Jennie called me to clarify what kind of fruit filling I wanted between the layers and I told her all I wanted was more buttercream. Fruit? In my cake? NO.
When we cut the birthday cake, there were strawberries between the layers of my cake. And I had to laugh again, because of course that also happened.
So I guess there ARE ways to be surprised at your own party.
Also, a month later I went to New York to belatedly celebrate my 50th, along with my mother’s birthday (which is two days after mine) and Mother’s Day. My brother and sister-in-law hosted a party at their house on Long Island, which I knew about. But I was surprised by some lifelong family friends that I wasn’t expecting to see, so that was wonderful.
This year, my son and his girlfriend are taking me to brunch. Later, my friends who are free tonight are meeting up to go to an 80s-themed dance party thing. And there’s a brunch on Sunday. That I made the reservations for, but only because I won a gift card to that particular place and can pick up a hefty portion of the bill.
If you’re thinking this is a long-winded way of saying I want a partner, it’s not. I’ve been single since 2012. Nobody’s lasted longer than 6 weeks. I’ve gotten very used to living alone and going places alone. I very rarely wish I had a boyfriend, although it would’ve been nice to have one to go with me to visit The Sound of Settling at Powell’s instead of having to tell random strangers about it.
And it might be nice to have someone to make a big deal about my birthday, even the years that aren’t considered milestone big deal years. But that doesn’t mean I’d want them around all the time.
For now, there isn’t much I’m asking for on the one day I can ask for stuff. But here’s what I’ll ask for:
*Buy and boost The Sound of Settling.
*Upgrade to paid!
*Donate $5/$55 to The Democrats or 4Ocean
*Buy me a birthday cupcake (aka leave a tip)
Also, I’d love for Stephen King and Taylor Swift to read The Sound of Settling, while I’m reaching for the literary stars.
Thank you for sharing this day with me!
Happy Birthday, Tara. Do you sell signed copies of your book
Happy Birthday Tara! And we found out that a leading candidate for VP under Trump is a dog killer. And it's not disqualifying.
Be glad you (and I in the state south of yours) don't live in a state whose governor likes killing dogs.