TARA TACKLES THE TRUMPOCRITE TRADWIVES
Katie Britt is just the latest subjugated suckup to set us back several centuries
We may have just Sprung Ahead, but there are a whole lot of Republicans out there who’d prefer it if the clocks were set back to about 1850.
Everyone is still roasting Sen. Katie “KKKatie” Britt of Alabama, the last remaining telegenic woman the GOP had on their bench, which is about as deep as the lone piece of plywood sitting by its lonesome in Ben Shapiro’s basement.
KKKatie’s unhinged performance has already been parodied all over TikTok and in Saturday Night Live’s cold open last night. ScarJo is now the definitive Katie Britt in the same way Tina Fey is the only acceptable person to portray Sarah Palin (outside of a drag show, that is).
It’s no secret that the repressed Republicans want their women subjugated and mostly silent, except for when they’re needed as props to appeal to Americans. The GOP’s white male majority (with a couple of Black men thrown in there for optics and photo ops) want zero abortions while taking away all programs to make sure the results of all of those forced births never actually thrive. And they’ve somehow convinced their womenfolk to go along with them no matter how self-sabotaging the narrative might be.
So it’s not all shocking that KKKatie’s kkkrazy response to Joe Biden’s fiery SOTU speech wasn’t just misguided, it was full of lies.
Twitter was almost its pre-Elon self again as the memes started popping up even before the crew could strike the kitchen set at the local Home Depot where Katie brought her family to prop up in a weak attempt to look like a regular American family, but instead came off like background extras in “Get Out.”
Her children, a boy and a girl, are named Bennett and Ridgeway and I can’t be bothered to find out which is which. They live in Alabama. They are doomed.
She seems angry.
Anyheez, #KatieBrittLied is trending on Twitter as I write this, because KKKatie told a whopper full of fuckery, claiming she had spoken with a victim of sex trafficking during a visit to the U.S.-Mexico border in 2023.
Britt’s visit and the victim’s story are both real. They just didn’t happen at the same time, something KKKatie deliberately left out while performing at full “7th grader at sleepaway acting camp” energy.
OOPS!
Thanks to journalist Jonathan Katz doing a journalism, the truth about this Trumptwunt went viral almost instantly.
While KKKatie’s life continues to implode, there are plenty of other Trad Wives out there who are more than happy to live as somewhat sentient Holly Hobbie dolls while being hella freaky-deaky after they tuck the kids in for the night.
Just ask any of the pious Christian Florida Moms For Liberty, who want to control all of the book learning in the country so kids won’t read about GASP “alternative lifestyles” while also being swingers in complicated throuple situations.
GROSS.
At least we’re seeing some pushback from the MSM when it comes to this next-level hypocrisy and pearl-clutching.
Rep. Nancy “Chesty Prynne” Mace (R-SC by way of Gilead), tried to use her own experience as a rape victim to try to get out of holding adjudicated rapist Donald Trump accountable for raping E. Jean Carroll. She threw the word “shame” around a lot while shaming our Shero E. Jean. Watch George Stephanopolous own Mace so hard, she should pin a scarlet “A” for “Asshole” on her chest next.
Please tune out these future Handmaidens and Wives and vote for Democrats, who just want all Americans to have the nice and life-sustaining things that Republicans don’t want us to have, including justice for (SAY IT WITH ME) adjudicated rapist criminal fraud Donald Trump, who’s still facing 91 felonies.
Shifting gears, it’s Oscar Sunday, and I love the Oscars regardless of how little they might have to do with my actual life or how few of the nominated films I’ve seen. Back in the 90s, I used to smoke the competition in my company’s annual Oscar pool. My friends and I used to have Oscar-watching parties with fancy snacks.
Now I watch the Red Carpet fashion parade and all the rest in my jammies on my couch with my cats and couldn’t be more content.
This year—when the show starts at 4 pm my time so I don’t care how long it goes— I have to get sneaky to watch them because I no longer have live TV thanks to The Poors. So I’ll have to sign up for a free DirecTV preview and cancel before they can charge me $80 a month. Someday $80 a month will seem like pocket change, but that day is definitely not today.
But if you have a spare $80, you could upgrade your subscription here, which means you get to come up with a song title for me to use in Heavy Meddling, the follow-up to The Sound of Settling. I’ll also write some lyrics for it and you’ll be in the Acknowledgments once I get that sweet sweet book deal I’m never giving up on.
If you go even bigger and get a founder’s subscription, I’ll name a character after you and make sure you come off all supercool. Unless you want to be a dick, then I’ll do that. You basically can decide how you want to be immortalized! Super fun.
A small bump up to the $8 will get you access to any early sneaks of the new book, plus you’ll get to comment. I’m keeping that on lockdown because I’ve started to get trolled here now too because no one can just let me fucking live anywhere.
That little bitchass got blocked after that.
SIGH. This is why I need an agent and a proper deal, so that I get so busy working on the adaptation, I won’t see any of that shit.
I’ve now sold 553 copies of my rock and roll love story, and I really need to take it to the next level because I want to move out of this apartment so much. Living on the corner of NW Stabby & NW Fentanyl has become so unsafe. But short of a miracle, I’ll be stuck here for another year because I won’t be able to afford a move. So your help in boosting my book would be most appreciated.
Aside from buying a copy either in paperback or on Kindle (free if you have Kindle Unlimited), all I’d need from anyone reading this is for you to share the link to The Sound of Settling on your Substacks and socials. Even if you haven’t read it (yet), you can say “This looks awesome, I just added it to my TBR list!” or whatever you might say. Perhaps you’d also be interested in finding the Foo Fighters Easter eggs I’ve hidden throughout the book.
Special thanks to my friend Jeff Tiedrich (who you should already be subscribed to as well), who was kind enough to get a copy on Kindle. I’m looking forward to his thoughts because if you know anything about Jeff, you know he doesn’t pull any punches.
Finally, since this is a day to celebrate the movies, I ventured out of my safe space inside my car to join my beloved Low Bar Chorale to sing a few 80s classics before a screening of Toyko Pop (1988), starring the late great Carrie Hamilton, at the Tomorrow Theatre in SE Portland. An offshoot of the Portland Art Museum, they do a lot of screenings and live performances. It was sparsely attended but still fun. And the movie is just a sweet little time capsule, another rock and love story with so much glorious Gen X throwback fashion. My friend Christine and I especially squealed when we saw THE WHITE CAPEZIOS.
The print was a newly restored 4K version, overseen by Carrie’s mom, Carol Burnett, as well as Dolly Parton, and I encourage you to seek it out.
That old ditty about "Ka-ka-ka-Katie" is ripe for some new lyrics. In scout camp we had a version that referred to "When the ma-ma-ma-moon shines over the Mugo Pines, she comes "Kno-kno-kno-knocking" at {insert a name in rhythm}'s "da-da-da- door". Surely that can be improved upon.