The MAGA Cult Morons were extra culting this past week as they seized on a hairsplitting debate over a rally’s crowd size to distract from their Dear Leader’s impending conviction in his first of several criminal trials.
It was another week of Bizarro TrumpWorld antics that began with his non-defense wrapping up in his election interference hush money trial in New York. Trump took the Fifth Amendment rather than testify, because he would have perjured himself within 30 seconds.
And then the Trump campaign held an outdoor rally in the Bronx, because they can’t afford to book an indoor venue. Plus, an empty arena looks extra embarrassingly empty when not enough people show up, not even when they recruit paid background extras via Craigslist to be in the latest episode of the Trump Clown Show.
So the MAGA Cult Morons and the paid extras assembled outdoors, where it’s easier to lie about the crowd size, like they did with the MAGA Mook’s appearance on the Jersey Shore last weekend.
The local ABC affiliate covered the entire event, including overhead footage taken from a helicopter. While Trump’s campaign and cultists claimed an attendance of “over 25,000,” roughly between 2,500 - 3,000 people were actually there.
Photos like this screenshot immediately set off a MAGA firestorm because of that pesky little timestamp in the bottom right corner.
It didn’t matter how many times the smart kids corrected them, the MAGA Cultists insisted that this was from 11:09 *AM* before the rally started. However, that’s Trump on the stage. His rally wasn’t broadcast live on ABC 7 in New York; that’s when “The View” is on.
For those of you who don’t do Twitter (and oh how I envy you), the hairsplitting that went on over this was the stuff of true MAGA madness. It’s like they don’t know that every city has a local news broadcast at 11 *PM* and they always use footage from earlier that day. Like, that’s how the news works.
It made my brain cry. There was a fight in my timeline where people were finding out what the weather was at both 11 am and pm that day and guess what? It was basically the same. It was a warm one in the 5 boroughs, and it was still about 75 degrees in Manhattan during the 11 pm broadcast.
But no, the MAGA cultist cried, it was 73 in the Bronx, so that’s from 11 am. But no, I volleyed back, it was 75 in Manhattan where the ABC studio is.
As we repeatedly proved, it was indeed from the 11 pm broadcast, where they availed themselves of the modern technology known as a CAMERA which captured what happened during the day, and then they played it back after it got dark out.
The smart kids who know how to do sarcasms were all making fun of the MAGA Morons who always lie about things that don’t matter, like rally crowd sizes. My own contribution got them extra super triggered, because they’re just so fucking stupid.
So, in ordinary Twitter circumstances, that would be a “ratio,” but in this particular instance, it was all super-triggered MAGA Morons and soooo many fake troll accounts. My engagement got a huge boost (thanks, losers!) and my blocking finger got a nice workout.
The responses ranged from your basic dumbfuck bully weakness to attacking my kids. First of all, “gonna tell my kids” is a meme that’s been around forever, but they’re too dumb to know that. So I got a lot of “gonna tell my kids libruls with cats are evil” and dumber shit like that.
They really don’t like being compared to Nazis, which is on them because if it tweets like a Nazi and acts like a Nazi, then it’s a Nazi. So if you don’t like it, quit acting like Nazis. So many of them had no idea I’m Jewish, but you can guess what those who did tweeted. I didn’t read all of the comments, but I don’t need to.
I hit them where it hurts them the most, and they kept proving my point for me over and over again.
For all of their obsession with numbers and size, it’s weird that these grifted fools love to ignore Trump’s most important stats: four arrests and 88 (reduced from 91) felony charges. They also continue to ignore the fact that he’s an adjudicated rapist after a jury found him liable for sexually assaulting E. Jean Carroll. They pretend they don’t know that “sexual assault” is using two words for “rape” instead of one, because they love using hairsplitting semantics arguments as one of their many distraction tactics.
Trump’s week ended on a high note—for us. He got resoundingly booed last night at the Libertarian National Convention, where he really didn’t belong. I mean, he only belongs in prison, but let’s stay on topic for a second.
Friday night, a member made a motion for Trump to “go fuck himself,” which was met with cheers. I don’t know how you implement such a motion, but I’m here for it.
The Libertarians—who, for the record, are just as bad as MAGAts 99.9% of the time—made it clear they won’t be voting for Trump and that he wasn’t welcome. Usually the Giant Orange Ego doesn’t go anywhere he won’t be met with an adoring crowd (except court), so it’s odd that he still showed up.
RFK Jr’s supporters (and fuck all y’all Qrazies) brought squeaking rubber chickens to interrupt Trump’s speech, but they were apparently confiscated. So the crowd held up big black squares to block Trump out of videos and photos. But the best part was how they just didn’t let up on the booing
Someone in the Trump campaign is going to get fired for allowing this kind of embarrassing footage to exist forever. Not just booed. HECKLED.
Inject this into my veins along with Trump’s obvious misery. He’s so terrified he’s going to be convicted in New York, and why wouldn’t he be? The evidence against him is overwhelming.
Meanwhile, SCOTUS is rumored to be close to announcing their decision on King Baby’s immunity case, and those rumors aren’t sounding great, but I’ll reserve my fury for when it’s justified. Their ruling will also apply to Joe Biden, but also the majority of the bench is compromised (here’s an extra double FUCK YOU to Samuel “Let My Freak Flags Fly” Alito), so who the fuck knows.
I just want more people to know about all of the great things Joe Biden and Kamala Harris have accomplished and how much more they plan to do, but the MAGA clowns being stupid keep pulling the MSM’s focus away from what matters and it’s FUCKED UP.
*releases primal scream that’s been building up all week*
ANYWAY. Aside from getting trolled over my Nazi tweets, any of the actual MAGA trolls who weren’t fabricated in a Macedonian cubicle farm went to my then-pinned tweet and said mean things about my book, OH NO. 🙄
It’s funny how people who never read books think they have any place criticizing people who write books, but then again, the root of all bullying is jealousy. Bullies also try to use the things they know we care about against us.
All authors get negative reviews, that’s just life. But I have too many fake 1-star reviews for The Sound of Settling on Amazon, and I think they need to change their review policy to Verified Purchases only. I need the 5-star rating boosts, but I want to come by them honestly.
May has been a surprisingly slow sales month, but I’ve reached 657 copies sold on Amazon, with nearly 34,000 pages read on Der Kindle. If I could get one tweet about my book to blow up like that one about the MAGA Nazis, who knows how many I could sell in the next few days?
Plus, it’s Memorial Day Weekend, the official kickoff to Summer! The Sound of Settling is a “fun, sexy, page-turner” of a rock and roll love story and a perfect beach/pool/hiding-inside-during-a-family BBQ read!
If you haven’t gotten my beloved book yet, now is the perfect time to buy and boost it, if for no other reason than to show the dumb MAGA bullies how the smart kids show up for each other. BE LIKE LISA and get your copy today! She knows what’s up.
Great piece; as always. Thank you so very much for being you ✨💙💫
Your wry observations make my day. I’m buying the book. It has to be delicious! Keep this up, please.