A CHANGE IN ATTITUDE LEADS TO A CHANGE IN PLANS

I was going to wait for a real publishing deal. Then I changed my entire perspective thanks to my friends.

When I finally finished revising the 14th draft of my rock and roll love story The Sound of Settling, I began the process of querying agents.

One year and fifty rejections later, as I continued documenting my frustrations on my social medias, several of my friends served me my own ass on a silver platter.

“I know it’s been hard for you,” one said to me gently, “but not everyone receives the things you say in the way you intend them.”

Another was less gentle. “I’m tired of going to your Facebook and only seeing posts about the fucking Foo Fighters!” she yelled on the phone later that same week. “It’s not about the Foo Fighters or Dave Grohl, it’s about YOU!” This was followed by, “I’m saying this with LOVE,” she shouted. “We love you, your friends love you and are worried about you!”

I stammered through my excuses for not self-publishing: I thought I needed the protection of an agent after being a MAGA target for eight years, I thought I needed to get back in touch with the person who inspired the book, which is the ultimate meta fan fiction, in case he didn’t love the idea of his name being thrown around without his knowledge or consent.

“NO, YOU DON’T!” my friend who loves me yelled.

I might not have spoken with him since 2009, but I still respect him enough to not tell everything I know about him (and I never will), even when it’s been to my detriment.

I’ll keep secrets that protect Dave Grohl instead of spilling them publicly to finally shut down my haters. While nothing ever happened between us physically, things were absolutely said and they’re none of your business. His daughters don’t need to know and neither do my sons and neither do you.

My need to be understood often ends up with me being misunderstood even more. I’m working on that.

But there was still one more piece missing, and the universe provided that one the day after I got yelled at.

In another chat with another friend who I’ve known since before my older son was born, I got the answer that my body has known for years but my brain needed to finalize so we could all move on.

Don’t ask me who, don’t ask me how, but she has a direct line to the band. And the person who inspired my story is aware of what I’ve put out there and doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care.

The release I felt from that confirmation was like flying. What a gift that was.

Instead of getting defensive, I thanked them all. The gratitude I felt along with the release was nothing I’d ever felt.

How lucky am I to have friends who love me enough to tell me the hard truths about myself? I know I can be intimidating—they’ll tell me so—but they also gave me a verbal shoulder-shaking that finally helped me get the clarity I have now.

I self-published The Sound Of Settling almost immediately after that. Aside from some printing issues with the paperback that Amazon insists they can’t fix (please buy the Kindle instead if small print is a problem for you), it’s been a perfect launch.

As I write this on October 2nd—a day I still don’t have a full-time job or any prospects of one—I’ve sold 112 copies. That’s roughly $375 in royalties thus far, which will start paying out in November.

But people aren’t just buying it. They’re reading it and giving it amazing reviews. It’s so gratifying to share the best thing I’ve written and have it received with so much warmth.

As I continue on this path, I hope to get the book optioned to develop into a limited streaming series. We’re manifesting that like what right now.

People keep asking me about a memoir. I think that’s the next book for sure. A non-linear collection of essays I’m tentatively calling My Mess Is A Life: From Restaurant Host to Radio Host (*to MAGA Target) or maybe Proximity to Greatness: The Tara Dublin Story, because I know a crazy number of famous and rich people, yet I don’t have two nickels to rub together.

In any case, whether you bought a ticket or you’re taking the free ride on this Crazy Train, there’s plenty of content still to come.

For now, I’d appreciate it if you’d check out my “fun, sexy, page-turner of a book!”