BIRTHDAY WEEK BEGINS!

Let me eat cake

Today is Sunday, April 20th, and a lot of things are happening all at once.

First and foremost, it’s 4/20 Day, which I DO celebrate, because the marijuanas are a literal gift from the Earth itself and has never been more needed than this year. Thanks, Mother Nature!

It’s also Easter, aka Zombie Jesus Chocolate Bunny Day, which I don’t celebrate (beyond MAYBE having ONE Cadbury’s Creme Egg, since the thought of having a second one makes my stomach fold over onto itself) because I think all organized religions are cults. You can try to argue with me, but I don’t recommend it. I still don’t get how the Sky Daddy’s kid came back from the dead, and then it somehow turned into a celebration involving the dyeing and hiding of eggs, but I also don’t care.

I DO care about hypocrisy, which is why it’s fun to drag MAGA cultists every Easter. But this year it’s more meaningful thanks to the alleged “loving Christians” gleefully celebrating not just the bullshit resurrection myth, but the very real deportation of an innocent man.

Pure insanity projection language word salad from Sundowning Paw Paw, available at the Easter buffet at Mar-a-Lago for an additional $99.99.

While the MAGA Trumpocrites were being terrible this weekend, the true American patriots were out protesting in the streets yesterday. My city turned out once again, and it was glorious. Portland’s protest sign game never disappoints! We’re back at it on May 1st, so add that to your Resistance Calendar.

Plus, I encountered a fellow Shero wearing the same shirt I was! Accidental twinning while Resisting!

That’s right, keep your hands off this old lady! Because along with everything else happening today, TAURUS SEASON is now officially here, and my 56th birthday is on Saturday, the 26th. My fellow ferocious Bullish friends Alison (4/21), Julie (5/18), and I are having a TRIPLE TAURUS BIRTHDAY KARAOKE EXTRAVANGANZA party on Saturday night with a homemade chocolate birthday cake, yaaaas!

If you know me at all, you know I couldn’t be more of a Taurus. The only thing inaccurate about these fridge magnets is the date, because you could argue that Taurus Season is April 20 - May 20th. But I’m not here to split hairs, despite my argumentative stubborn streak.

Your birthday is the one day a year when you can be a little selfish, even if social media pressures us to use it to raise money/awareness for causes we believe in. I have done that—last year I raised about $500 for a charity focused on cleaning up our oceans, along with my annual birthday wish for world peace—but this year hits different for all of the reasons. I’M my own cause now.

This year, I just want everyone to buy and share my rock and roll love story, The Sound of Settling, to the point where publishers, producers, and agents can’t ignore it. The blurb from Cameron Crowe and the endorsement from Ellen Barkin aren’t enough to impress anyone, but maybe a viral post would? If just ONE post about my book took off like the Blue Origin rocket, that would be AMAZING.

And still, crickets from the query letters I’ve sent to agents. I don’t fucking know what to do anymore, but I do know that my sales have dropped off A LOT since mid-January. Weird, huh? Also, I don’t love that a Bezos post did that well, especially considering people don’t want to give Amazon their money, and I self-published The Sound of Settling via Amazon KDP.

It’s also now available as an AI-generated Audible book, which I also don’t love, but I can’t afford a studio and a producer for a month to properly record it myself. However, it’s going over super well with a MAGAt who spent an entire day trolling me on Instagram and insulting my intelligence. Um, thanks?

I liked this message I got from someone much nicer the next day SO MUCH more.

A MASTERPIECE. And, not to humblebrag, but that’s not the first time someone has called The Sound of Settling (that link will take you to Powell’s, not Amazon, yay!) a MASTERPIECE.

I also have to go to traffic court on Wednesday for a $300 red light ticket that I’m hoping to talk down, HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEEK TO ME! So if you’ve already bought my book, I hope you’ll consider an upgrade to a paid subscription because April has really been the cruelest month as far as my bank account is concerned.

THANK YOU and I hope to see you all on THE TARA SHOW on Tuesday!