HEY HOWLER MONKEYS BOBO & MTG, STFU AT SOTU OR GTFO

Even Mike Johnson is worried Still-At-Large-Marge won't display the proper decorum. Plus, wanna live forever--at least in print? Details within!

You know your shit is bad when your fellow compromised repressed porn-addicted boss has to make a public announcement that you better keep your flapping wetmouth shut while the legitimately elected Democratic President delivers his State of the Union Address tonight.

Okay, so I’m paraphrasing. But since the New York Times is apparently now run by Trump superfan Maggie Haberman and ChatGPT, someone has to cut through the bullshit.

Tonight, House Republicans in particular will most likely heckle the most successful President in five decades because they’re all compromised beyond redemption. Not that Senate Republicans are any better—I have an endless supply of FUCK YOU’s for Mitch McConnell endorsing sundowning bankrupt adjudicated rapist criminal fraud Donald Trump.

Feel free to borrow as many as you’d like.

Everyone remembers when Still-At-Large-Marge Greene showed up to SOTU in her Meemaw’s fancy going-out coat that she bought at a yard sale in the Georgia foothills in 1973 and then screeched at the President.

Not to be outdone, Lauren “Who’s Your Granny?” Boebert joined in the catcalling like the dumb paid escort plant she is.

Slags.

Speaker Jesus Freak is super worried about comportment at SOTU, which is perfectly on brand for the Trumpocrite who worked very hard to overturn the results of the 2020 election and prevent the peaceful transfer of power.

My take is that none of those traitors should be there at all, but everyone is going to normalize the presence of an entire caucus that staged a failed insurrection. As our pal Jeff Tiedrich so eloquently wrote today, Joe Biden is going to fucking own them all with the truth about his historically successful first term.

Jeff did the serious link work for all of the people incapable of asking the Google for themselves, and I encourage you to check them out if you’re still more focused on a man’s age instead of his lengthy track record of awesome.

Speaking of awesome, The Sound of Settling is officially going to be on the shelf at the Multnomah County (OR) Library!

I love you, Alicia T!

You can also request my rock and roll love story from your local library and indie bookstores. It’s going to be in Powell’s soon, and I can’t wait to walk over there and visit it and cry.

Also, I have an incentive for anyone with the means to upgrade to a paid subscription. If you go big and get a founding subscription, I’ll name a character in the follow-up, Heavy Meddling, after you! I have a really strong first draft, but since I’m waiting for a proper deal instead of self-publishing it, there’s plenty of time for me to memorialize you in print forever!

If you upgrade to the $80 version, you’ll get to make up a song title for Case Closed, my faux Foo Fighters-ish band, and I’ll write the lyrics. Maybe someday Dave Grohl will record it, who knows? WE ARE MANIFESTING.

If you kick it up to the $8 level, you’ll get an early peek at any exclusive excerpts, plus you can leave comments!

Is Heavy Meddling a sequel? A prequel A spin-off? I’m not telling because I don’t want to spoil anything for anyone who hasn’t finished The Sound of Settling yet. My friend Daniel told me he read it in one day, so GET GOING, friends! We need to keep the word-of-mouth going to get us that proper publishing deal and option.

Sharing The Sound of Settling on your own socials and Substacks is completely free, so if you could do your friend Tara a solid and kick up the word-of-mouth, I’d appreciate it so much.

Tomorrow: post-SOTU thoughts and my response to the hot garbage Republican response yaaaay.