HEY MAGA, IT'S NOT MY FAULT DONALD TRUMP WAS BEST FRIENDS WITH JEFFREY EPSTEIN

And it's also not my fault he's always lied to you

I’ve reached a place of full acceptance: No matter how I phrase it, a tweet about my non-political rock & roll love story The Sound of Settling will never get the kind of engagement any of my political tweets get, probably because I never use words like “rapist” or “pedo” or “Trump” in them.

There’s a MAGA troll magnet embedded somewhere in my Twitter account’s algorithm, I swear. Right now, they’re SO MAD about the Epstein Files story that they’re scrounging for any scapegoat in a shitstorm, and your girl here is one of their favorite targets.

I’m like a walking Bingo card with extra columns when it comes to the Red Hat Death Squad Zombie Cult: Single, female, Democrat, Jewish, over 50, lives in Portland, has cats. So they have their pick of juvenile insults to choose from. When it’s not a troll, they get a little more creative with the adjectives, but when it comes to MAGA, they think calling me names is enough to stop me from telling the truth about Trump that none of them want to admit is true.

Also, Elon has my account suppressed because I’m a “liberal influencer.” Which is weird, because now he hates Trump and wants all of the Epstein Files released too, so you’d think he’d give a boost to the girl who’s been blocked by Trump for almost a decade, but nah.

Plus, it’s a garbage fire out there and probably the worst time in global history to be chasing a proper book deal and option, but I CAN MULTITASK.

However, any mention of the Epstein Files, or just one response to Russian Asset Tulsi Gabbard, who’s trying to lead the MAGA cult astray with a major bullshit story about Barack Obama, and WHOOSH the MAGA Trollbot Train rushes in to flood my mentions with similar replies.

I can’t link it because Twitter won’t let Substack post links, but I think it’s sufficient enough to say that I told Tulsi (who was never, ever a Democrat no matter what letter was next to her name because she’s always been a Russian asset) that she was creating a distraction while helping Trump cover up the Epstein Files. And also, I included my recording of Katie Johnson’s testimony, which no MAGA—real or fake—wants to believe is real, even after being told to look up the case file number.

(This is from Bluesky, where almost no one gets trolled. MAGA accounts who try it get run off pretty fast)

Bluesky plays nice with Substack because it’s all the same smart kids.

Anyway, these are typical MAGA troll responses. If any of them shock or surprise you, then you’re probably not on Twitter.

None of these accounts is real. NONE. You know how I know? YEARS of being trolled by them. A DECADE of being trolled by them and learning how they operate.

Quick primer for those who still tweet: VERIFY, then trust. Always check the bio before replying to ANYONE who’s flipping you shit. Every troll account is designed to distract you and waste your time. The most obvious troll is the one with the default gray avatar. The fakest of the fakes, block immediately. Even when they call you the C word.

Friends, your girl here has the thickest of internet skins, trust.

The members of the Bunchanumbers Bot Family are never to be taken seriously or answered. They’re the Twitter version of putting raisins in potato salad. They are NOT invited to the cookout. Block immediately.

Even bots can have blue checks now, thanks to their generous bot farm benefactors somewhere in Macedonia (just ask Nancy Mace, see what I did there?). One way to know they’re fake is to simply check their account. Did they just join, or are they from 2014, yet only have 4 followers? Fake. Is their whole timeline retweets of huge MAGA influencers? Fake. A lot of the blue checked trolls have exactly 1.1K followers, which are probably all each other.

The biggest troll of all is Trump himself. That petty ass bitch blocked me in 2015. I’m trying to think of something special to do for the 10th anniversary next month.

So go ahead and sue me for telling the truth about you all this time, convicted felon adjudicated rapist Epstein Bestie. I’ll just countersue over being blocked for 10 years, and we’ll see what happens. Discovery will be SO much fun, because I’ll get all the Epstein Files entered into evidence, and you’ll go bankrupt. But I’ll make sure E. Jean Carroll gets her $100 million first.

MAGA is so mad about the Epstein Files, they don’t know what to do with themselves, so they’re taking it out on the Democrats in any way the propaganda dictates. Don’t fall for any of it. I’m nobody’s scapegoat, and I’m definitely not your whipping girl, “MAGAPatriot39857293749,” so go cope elsewhere.

We’re not required to respond to any of these dipshits. I’m not your mom, Cletus, so I don’t have to spoon-feed you. If you’re triggered enough to whine at me in a tweet, then go do your own research, like you tell us to do. Except you wouldn’t know the truth if it was shown to you, WHICH IT HAS BEEN REPEATEDLY SHOWN TO YOU FOR TEN YEARS.

They block us because they hate the truth we tell; we block them because we don’t have to accept harassment as a built-in part of our online experience.

Feel free to use this meme I made two years ago when I thought the GOP might be embarrassed to back a convicted felon with a mugshot. Ah, the salad days of 2023, when I still believed in the Rule of Law applying to everyone. Oh well. Anyway, I saw no need to make a whole new one when this lying bitch will never change.

Yeah, Trump took MAGA for a ride on the Lolita Express, as I wrote yesterday for Political Voices Network. It’s been a real loop-de-loop of a corkscrew of lies that have led to the publication of the world's ickiest birthday card as proof of his friendship with a sex trafficking rapist pedo.

Trump’s response was to immediately deny he’d ever sent it because he’s “never written a picture” in his life. And we all know you don’t WRITE a picture, but now that his veins are on the verge of collapse, he just doesn’t have enough blood circulating to and from the oatmeal sludge inside his skull.

And then the internet was all SURE YOU HAVEN’T, Sundowning Paw Paw.

Rapey McPedo has already announced he’s suing the Wall Street Journal for having the audacity to print something true that makes him look bad, which is basically everything written about him. MAGA is still protecting him, saying stuff like OOOH DAT BIG BAD WALL STREET JOURNAL IS FAKE NEWS even though it’s owned by Rupert Murdoch. And Trump is acting as his own lawyer, so I think we know how this one is going to end, because I read E. Jean Carroll’s book.

Anyway, when MAGA trolls you, I want you to stop for a moment and think, “What would Tara do?” and then proceed to block them, because you’re smarter than they are.

You’ve already proven that by reading this, so maybe you’d be inclined to put your money where your support is and upgrade to a paid subscription, please? And thank you, because this July has been the longest month in the history of time while also being the least profitable, weird!

Anyway, try to have a weekend. Tomorrow is Portland’s Pride Parade, so I’ll be out there in my MOM HUGS shirt like I am every year. And I’ll see you Tuesday on THE TARA SHOW at 2 pm/11 am!