I MAKE MAGIC HAPPEN

You don't get the things you don't ask for

Hey there, friends! Yes, I still have a Substack, surprise!

Sorry, it’s just hard to feel motivated to write stuff here when my entire life is focused on the Trumpian garbage fire. However, we’re getting a nice break this week thanks to Dead Jeffrey Epstein and Very Much Alive and Kicking E. Jean Carroll.

As I’ve written before and tweeted endlessly, Donald Trump is all over the Epstein Files, and literally everyone knows this. That includes the MAGA cult, most of which is still faking a lot of denialism right now. But Pam Bondi is out there like “What Epstein Client List?” even though she told the whole world that list was on her desk not that long ago.

Donald Trump is SOOOO all over the files and the list that the only recourse Pam has is to claim there’s nothing to claim.

It’s created a fun fracture in the MAGA cult, because there are influencers who are Big Mad about being lied to, even the ones who got the Binders Full of Blacked Out Lines a while back. Watching the cope is like a bartender giving you all of your drinks for free for the rest of your life.

Oh, you do, KKKathy. You care so much! Because now you know whose name is in there the most.

Pam Bondi is not protecting Bill or Hillary Clinton.
Pam Bondi is not protecting Prince Andrew.
Pam Bondi is not protecting Bill Gates.
Pam Bondi is not protecting any Democrats.
Pam Bondi is only protecting Donald Trump.

Soon enough, the massive criticism from both MAGA and Democrats will make Trump look even worse, which he can’t stand, so he’ll fire Pam Blondie—who failed CONSTITUTIONAL LAW in law school—and replace her with an even worse white guy. Probably Stephen “Kapo Nosferatu” Miller, who’s not even a lawyer. But hey, who needs any real government or legal experience to get hired by the least successful businessman in American history?

Speaking of terrible lawyers, Trump has all of them. His lawyers are extraordinarily terrible at their jobs, and only seem to care about how much money they pay for their fancy suits to wear to court. That strategy has led to giving all of Trump’s legal opponents giant paydays.

Case in point: the eternal Shero that is E. Jean Carroll, who dropped a surprise memoir of her Trump trials, Not My Type, which immediately rocketed to the top of the New York Times Bestseller list in NonFiction. Aside from giving the book the most perfect title, E. Jean takes us through the trials that resulted in Trump losing bigly, to the tune of nearly $100 million.

E. Jean has been a mentor for me since her ELLE Magazine advice column, “Ask E. Jean,” debuted in 1993. When she followed me back on Twitter, I floated for hours. If E. Jean Carroll knows who I am, I thought to myself, then I’m really somebody now because she knows EVERYONE.

Fast forward to the release of the geniusly titled Not My Type coinciding with the fact that I now co-host a podcast. We’ve started having guests, like Hal Sparks and Malcolm Nance. But E. Jean has been at the top of my Dream Interview list for YEARS, and so I emailed her to ask if there was a world where she would have some spare time on a Tuesday or a Thursday to join us.

Friends, SHE IS JOINING US ON THURSDAY.

This Thursday. The scheduling gods created space for me to have face time with the face Trump denied knowing, yet mistook for his second wife in a photograph.

All it took was an ask. I’m never afraid to ask. What’s the worst thing anyone can say when you ask them for something? In my case, the worst thing is a No (unless the answer is no answer whatsoever).

All it took was an ask to land an interview with Nancy Pelosi back in 2018, when I had another podcast, before my former partner disappeared into the ether when he realized he couldn’t grift any money from me. But I got good stuff from Shero Pelosi. I like asking questions no one else asks. So before we got into politics, I began our 20-minute conversation with a compliment, followed by the question:

“You look better than anyone and have more energy than people who are a fraction of your age,” I began. “So I need to ask you, what’s your Number One beauty secret?”

No one asks Nancy Pelosi about that. NO ONE. I anticipated an answer like “I bathe in Creme de la Mer!” or “I dunk my face in a bowl of ice water like Paul Newman.” But Nancy D’Alesandro Pelosi—without missing a beat, as if she had been given my question in advance before calling in from the backseat of a car on the way to an airport—immediately replied, “Dark Chocolate Ice Cream!”

I was immediately caught off guard. “Really?” I asked, fully charmed by the answer.

“Tara,” said soon-to-be-Speaker of the House-again Nancy Pelosi, “Dark Chocolate Ice Cream FOR BREAKFAST.”

I mean, hot damn.

I have now fully inhaled Not My Type, blazing through it in a white-hot marathon of awesome where I often laughed out loud, as the kids say. I have made copious notes. On hot pink Post-Its, natch, because this is E. JEAN CARROLL, who has closets full of designer outfits and statement pieces—many courtesy The RealReal, which has placed her on Best Dressed lists.

I can’t wait to talk to her. I have SO MANY QUESTIONS. And what a fortuitous coincidence to have E. Jean on with us this week. We will only have 28 minutes with E. Jean, and I intend to make the most of those 28 minutes. What would YOU Ask E. Jean? Let me know in the comments!

Oh, wait. You can’t comment unless you’re a paid subscriber. Sorry, not sorry. I have done that so the MAGA kids who troll me on Twitter can’t troll me here. Also, supporting an independent media person such as myself is excellent karma at a time when the corporate media is failing you.

I mean, did you hear about this excerpt from the Epstein Files from CNN or MSNBC? Nope, you heard it from ME. Literally, because I recorded when I realized that MAGA wouldn’t read the screenshot. Also, it’s infinitely worse when you HEAR what Trump did to the little girls procured for him by his bestie Pedo Jeff and his awful pimpette, Ghislaine Maxwell.

I don’t know how many times I’ve shared this on Twitter, but I’ll just keep sharing it. And it’s a nice coincidence that this story is blowing up right when I’m about to interview someone who has a unique perspective on Trump’s violent behavior.

I hope you’ll tune in to THE TARA SHOW today, Thursday, and every Tuesday and Thursday after that.

I hope you’ll upgrade to a paid subscription here so you can be a part of the conversation.

And I hope my asks will result in more magic. LET’S GO!