LOCK HIM UP WHEN SEPTEMBER ENDS

Trump's very bad month is already off to a wonderfully terrible start

With apologies to Green Day, I’ve had an earworm regarding Donald Trump’s court calendar this month, but with my own lyrics:

“Summer has come and past
He’s guilty so let’s kick his ass
Lock him up when September ends…”

It’s September 4th, and Trump has already lost one court case this month. The estate of Isaac Hayes was granted an emergency hearing yesterday in Atlanta after suing Trump for using “Hold On, I’m Coming” at his rallies without permission. When you’re famous, they just let you do it, unless they’re sick of you being a criminal piece of shit who takes from everyone and gives them nothing in return.

Not only does Trump have to pay the Hayes estate $3 million, but he’s also banned from using ANY MUSIC written or performed by Isaac Hayes. They literally SHUT HIS MOUTH.

Also, ABBA and Foo Fighters and Dolly Parton and Jack White all plan to sue Trump, too. ROCK ON WITH YOUR BAD SELVES Y’ALL.

Trump has to go back to court tomorrow to face Judge Tanya Chutkan at his January 6th status conference hearing, and then he goes back to a different court on Friday for his rematch with E. Jean Carroll, the woman he raped and can’t stop defaming.

Then there’s that pesky little debate on September 10th. I wonder what former prosecutor Kamala Harris might say about all of his legal losses, and also what she might say about his sentencing on September 18th that won’t be delayed no matter how many times his shitty lawyers try to delay it.

Hopefully, the Vice President will also ask him why he thinks he had “every right” to interfere in the 2020 election results. Maybe she could also bring up his long history of raping little girls procured for him by Jeffrey Epstein, because he has a long history of raping little girls procured for him by Jeffrey Epstein.

Then there’s all that awful Project 2025 stuff that Trump claims to know nothing about because he calls it “Agenda 47” instead. That should totally come up during the debate as well. She’s going to steamroll over him and then use whatever’s left as mulch for her garden.

Oh wait, that’s what he did with Ivana, my bad.

I’m so fucking done with this guy and his cult morons, including the biggest cult moron of all, Elon Musk. MuskTrump is openly interfering with the 2024 election and isn’t even trying to pretend anymore. ELECTION INTERFERENCE IS A FEDERAL CRIME and it would be great if anyone would hold these two hybrid douchebags accountable already.

The only difference between the two unloved dipshits is Elon’s slight South African accent. Apartheid Clyde and Cadet Bone Spurs are otherwise indistinguishable from each other and it would be delightful to be rid of both of them at the same time, ICC.

In other news, I am done with Covid, but it’s not done with me. I first tested positive on Monday, August 26th, although I definitely was sick the day before when I slept for like 30 hours. It’s September 4th and my mom was supposed to fly in from New York today, but I was still positive on Monday and we decided to push her visit to next month even though I probably wouldn’t get her sick. She’s got her 60th high school reunion next weekend, so we decided it was better to be safe and wait a little. Mom’s got her priorities straight, folks.

As for me, I’d just like to go outside. The CDC guidelines at this point are basically, “You’re probably fine, wear a mask and get your next vaccine whenever.” My temperature has been normal most of this time, peaking at a whopping 100.5 degrees last Wednesday. My body temperature seemed to drop severely after that, but a quick visit to Urgent Care last Friday determined all I had was a broken digital thermometer. The doctor told me that if I didn’t have a fever for five days, I was no longer contagious and could resume life outside of my apartment.

It seems counterintuitive to move about outside around other people if I’m still shedding virus, but a person can keep testing positive without being contagious. Yay science! I love discovering new ways for my body to betray me!

Finally, we’re just a few days away from The Sound of Settling’s first birthday, and while I’m going to fall short of my goal of selling 1000 copies by the 8th, I’m happy to report I’ve sold 752 copies as of today. A very famous person slid into my DMs to ask me to send her my book but didn’t tell me how, and now I’m waiting to hear back from her because she’s very busy. SIGH.

But now that summer’s over and all the publishing people are back to work, I’ll resume the query process because I’m never giving up. BE LIKE JIM and grab your copy and then leave a great review and then tell all your friends PLEASE!

Thank you, I love you.