MAGA DOESN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING

But I'm still willing to try to reach them

I want to make something very clear: I don’t want one more American citizen to die because of Donald Trump.

Not the MAGA bullies who troll me everywhere, not the MAGA Mean Girls who’ve been cackling about “owning the Libs” on Twitter, not even the dipshit losers who absolutely did some fuckery to get Trump back in office. Not one human being should lose their life because of him. Plenty of them deserve to be in prison with him, but that’s a whole other bit of fuckery for another time.

More people died from COVID-19 in Red states because of Trump because they wouldn’t get a simple vaccine to keep themselves alive. Dying to own the libs seems like a weird political tactic. Why would you want your voting base to die off? While Dr. Fauci was trying to save lives, Trump convinced MAGA that a horse pill was the way. Every time MAGA pushes back on something good for them, it results in a lot of bad for everyone.

Everything they’ve done in the name of “Owning the Libs” has now resulted in the self-own of the century.

These same MAGA cultists celebrating a second Trump administration have no fucking clue what they voted for. They pretend to understand what tariffs are and how they work, but since Trump himself doesn’t get it, the MAGA Death Cult doesn’t either.

Most of them are doing damage control now, using right-wing talking points to justify Trump’s proposed 25% increase on all consumer goods coming in from our top three trade partners: China, Canada, and Mexico. The same cult losers crying over a dozen eggs costing $4 will soon pay quadruple for a full carton. Thanks to the tariffs, Walmart has already announced they’ll increase prices on everything, and Target will soon be forced to do the same. Multiple corporations have already told workers that their expected Christmas bonuses are now in the ether because they’re preparing for the worst.

MAGA doesn’t know this, because King Baby hasn’t told them. They no longer listen to anyone else, not even the 23 Nobel Prize-winning economists who wrote an open letter to the country explaining just how bad Trump’s tariffs will be.

The Guardian—which no longer posts on Twitter—reported Tuesday that more than half of Americans understand that Trump’s tariffs will be disastrous. If two-thirds of the country gets it, then why do we all have to pay for MAGA’s willfully obtuse stupidity?

The Red Hat Kool Aid Death Squad also loves the idea of mass deportation. They can’t wait to get rid of all of those pesky farm workers and everyone else who came to this country to seek a better life and ended up cleaning motel rooms, industrial factories, and chicken coops. MAGA doesn’t understand that by eliminating an entire segment of the working population, American daily life will come to a near standstill. They call us racists for pointing this out when it’s just true. Are they all going to go work on farms and in the fields? I doubt it. They might not care about fresh vegetables, but as someone who enjoys her salads, I’d rather not have to pay $20 for a head of lettuce.

The tariffs on our top two agricultural partners in North America will result in everyone paying crazy prices for things that were once cheap. A basic American breakfast of two eggs, bacon, home fries, and toast will cost over $30. They’re going to try to blame it on Joe Biden, but he’s handing off the world’s best economy to the world’s worst businessman. Thanks a fuckload!

Another thing MAGA likes to point out is that we all survived Trump’s first term. No one should have to devote themselves to “surviving” their own government. What MAGA doesn’t get is that the first time around, there were still regular people working for him who made sure he didn’t accidentally start WWIII when he reached to flush his brand-new toilet (because his racist cooze wife didn’t want to sit on the same toilet seat Michelle Obama had used).

Those same regular people all endorsed Kamala Harris. More Republicans endorsed the Democratic nominee than their own party’s nominee. MAGA called them traitors when they were displaying the ultimate patriotism by choosing America over Trump. The cult groupthink mentality is going to kill us all.

And that will be thanks to the KKKavalcade of KKKommie KKKlowns Trump wants to appoint to his Cabinet of Insanity. It’s like they all got together at Mar-a-Lago for a screening of “Idiocracy” and proceeded to take notes in between snorting rails of Adderall cut with Ozempic. Listing them will only make me more ragey, you know who they are.

Another thing is, I don’t have a lot of confidence that Trump will physically survive another four years (hey MSM remember how Joe Biden is old? TRUMP IS FUCKING OLD TOO YOU FUCKS) and I definitely don’t want Elon Musk and JD Vance running this country. MAGA thinks that’s what they want, but they don’t have the first fucking clue.

They don’t get that people who have never worked in the government shouldn’t get the most important jobs in the government. We’re going to be an ischemic stroke away from having President Peter PayPal and his Merry Band of MAGA Men. Nobody understands how dire this is.

I know MAGA hates Target because The Gays, so here’s a thought exercise for the people who stopped thinking for themselves nine years ago:

Think about your usual grocery shopping trip to your local Walmart (Walmart sells rainbow merch, btw. Maybe you’ll get a break and Hobby Lobby will start selling food). Think about how you walk right in without having to stand in a long line. You grab your cart and walk through the endless aisles packed with everything you love to eat, with plenty of variety and brands to choose from. You can also get clothes and household items, stuff for your pets, and pick up a prescription. A lot of Walmarts also have retailers within the retail, like nail salons, FedEx, or McDonald’s, so maybe you avail yourself of one of those. There are plenty of employees available to work the registers once you’ve gone through the whole store—you always linger in Electronics, checking out the latest tech while thinking about your holiday gift list, but you manage to get out of there without going over your weekly food budget.

You’ve been spending less on everything, actually. You just aren’t aware of it because Dear Leader King Baby has been lying to you the whole time, telling you that the ease of your daily life is a mirage. Did you have to wait in a crazy long line to get gas? Did you walk into your Walmart and find empty shelves? Did you pay more than $4 for your precious eggs?

You didn’t, thanks to Democrats.

But in a year, your local Walmart isn’t going to look the way it did the last time you were there.

Not after Trump implements those 25% tariffs from our three biggest trade partners, MAGA kids. If it’s not made in America, it’s going to cost you more than you can afford. You’re going to be forced into making choices you’ve never had to make before. Is there enough money to buy toilet paper AND cereal for the kids? Can you go without bread because you need diapers? You know, IF you can even find them, because those shelves that were once packed have now been picked over. You’ll be lucky if you can find enough to sustain your family for a couple of days, let alone a full week. Those days of piling your cart with whatever you wanted are over. Now when you stand in one of the three open register lines (because Walmart will have slashed its workforce down to the barest bones to keep prices as low as possible), your cart will most likely have 15 items or less.

Trump’s tariffs are going to impact your daily lives in ways you can’t fathom yet because you haven’t had to change anything about your life before. But a year from now, if you don’t fight for a recount, you’re going to be faced with some seriously scary decisions.

What’s going to be more important for you and your family: eating or paying your increased utility bills because Trump dismantled all of the government agencies that manage everything? How will you pay for your family’s healthcare once Trump gets rid of Obamacare, which IS the Affordable Care Act? He doesn’t have a plan to replace it, remember?

Do you or any members of your family need medications to live? Have fun paying out of pocket for them without health insurance. If RFK Jr actually gets the gig Trump’s given him, prescription drug prices will be prohibitive. That $35 insulin is thanks to JOE BIDEN, did you want to go back to paying more? Say goodbye to the vaccines that kept you out of an iron lung and saved you from preventable diseases. I’m glad I won’t be there when you’re explaining to your kids that measles are NBD because the libtards are finally finding out.

Voting to fuck up your own life makes no sense to me. MAGA women will die in parking lots because they can’t get medical care for a miscarriage. Kids are going to be taught a whitewashed MAGA version of our nation’s history to fully erase slavery and anything else, leading us to a “Good Parts Only” version because MAGA snowflakes hate feeling bad.

But maybe there’s hope: enough MAGA women are waking up to the deeply rooted misogyny within the GOP and just how bad things will be for them if they lose their healthcare and bodily autonomy. I don’t know why more of them didn’t vote to protect themselves, and now they apparently don’t either. There are also reports of MAGA voters learning all about the tariffs and being big mad about them.

So, FUCKING FIGHT WITH US. I don’t care if you don’t want to admit how deadly fucking wrong you’ve been, just do the right thing NOW. Everyone you love will be worse off under the Crypto Bro Administration. EVERYONE (unless they’re millionaires). Nothing in your lives has to change, except they would probably keep getting better under the opportunity economy Kamala Harris is ready to deliver.

I wish any member of the MAGA cult cared about their well-being more than being internet bullies. I wish any of them understood that it doesn’t matter what they have NOW. I wish I could make any of them care that I care about them. I wish I had a big enough platform so that I could reach more of them and tell them all of this with as much kindness as I can muster.

What we’re all used to, what we have NOW, will be gone if we don’t stop it from happening. We have time.

Today I had time to call my members of Congress (Rep. Suzanne Bonamici and Senators Jeff Merkley and Ron Wyden) to tell them just how scared I am at the thought of watching Nazi fascists march into the White House without a fight from Democratic leadership. I called Sen. Chuck Schumer and left him a voicemail imploring him to demand a recount to protect all American Jews from the possibility of being targeted by the Trump Regime. I spoke to the very patient and compassionate young man who answered the phone for Rep. Hakeem “So Fine” Jeffries and begged for some sort of public stance from Democrats promising a recount in the swing states just to be absolutely sure we did everything we could.

I also had time to call my Governor, Tina Kotek, and the woman who took my comments was as compassionate as the others I’d spoken to. I told her that I had zero faith in states’ rights being honored by someone who doesn’t honor anyone’s basic human rights.

I did all of these things before 9:30 am (living on the West Coast has its many advantages) and doing them made me feel better, but it still doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

I might be screaming into the abyss, but I can’t stop doing it. My poor brain is so haunted by the impending reality of living inside The Handmaid’s Tale that it wakes me from stress dreams at weird hours and won’t let me go back to sleep. I tell myself that I can’t fix it by myself, and I’m certainly not going to fix it at 3:42 am, so please let me rest for just a little bit so I can keep going.

MAGA people, I started this by saying I don’t want you to die, and I promise you that I mean it. I’ve packed this with “Just wait until…” types of warnings, but you don’t want to believe you were wrong. I don’t know why that ever became a thing, especially since “learn from your mistakes” is an ancient adage. I don’t care if I’m wrong, I care if I’m dead. Or if one of my four nieces can’t get birth control. Or if my mom and stepdad lose all of their savings. Or if anyone in my extended network of family and friends in marginalized communities is hurt in any way by any of the things Trump is promising to do. And what he’s promising is the destruction of the very fabric of America.

Remember that old and not-his-best-song by Sting, “Russians”? Some of those lyrics could be applied to you, MAGA, because you’ve been fed so much Russian propaganda that you can’t taste anything good for you. So with apologies to Mr. Sumner, I’m doing a little rewrite of those lyrics to apply to MAGA.

In Europe and America, there's a growing feeling of hysteria

Conditioned to respond to all the threats

In the rhetorical speeches of the MAGA Trumpettes

Mister Putin said, "We will bury you"

This is not what Americans do

It'd be such an ignorant thing to do

If the MAGAs love their children too

How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer's deadly toy?

There is no monopoly on common sense

On either side of the political fence

We share the same biology, regardless of ideology

Believe me when I say to you

I hope the MAGAs love their children too

There is no historical precedent

To put the words in the mouth of the puppet president

There's no such thing as a winnable war

It's a lie we don't believe anymore

Mister TrumpMusk says, "I will protect you

“Whether or not you want me to”

Believe me when I say to you

I hope the MAGAs love their children too

We share the same biology, regardless of ideology

But what might save us, me and you

Is if the MAGAs love their children too

I don’t care what demanding a recount makes me look or sound like, I care about our country remaining free. If you do too, please share this with a MAGA person you know.