MAGA IS BIG MAD THAT THEY CAN'T SPIN TRUMP'S RAPEY HISTORY
A jury of mostly men awarded E. Jean Carroll a total of $83.3 million because Trump just couldn't stop defaming the woman he raped
Alina Habba is some kind of lawyering wizard, huh? It takes a special kind of talent to turn a $5 million judgment for your client into an $83.3 million one.
Nice job, Habba the Jutt! Maybe if you were a little more concerned about how the law works instead of how plastic surgery works…well, Trump would still be an adjudicated rapist, so you should probably quit now since he’s never going to pay you and you’re definitely not too pretty prison no matter how many times Ivanka’s plastic surgeon tweaks you.
Inject this headline and all of Trump’s misery directly into my veins, for his sundowning demise is my life’s blood.
Oh, E. Jean Carroll, my Eternal Shero from way back in the good ol’ ELLE days! No one gave it to you straighter than E. Jean when it came to dispensing life advice. Her rhapsodic responses were always these self-contained mini-novellas of wisdom for the ages.
The rational members of society see such a headline and accept it for the facts it presents. They know Trump is a grabby groping Grimace who deserves every second of misery he gets.
Team E. Jean is a formidable fighting force that kept hammering away at Habba the Jutt because she was too busy lining her new duck lips to learn the law. We have no idea how long it’s going to take before she sees a penny of that settlement, but I hope she throws herself one hell of a party that I wish I could teleport to.
Meanwhile, the MAGA cultists immediately started blaming else for Trump facing consequences for his actions. It’s the judge’s fault. It’s the media’s fault. It’s Hillary's fault, or Obama’s, or Joe Biden’s. Trump’s got a lengthy track record of being a rapey pedo—how about them Epstein flight logs where no one named Biden is mentioned, MAGA? No, those don’t exist? Sure they don’t, lil buddies.
There was some talk of an appeal, but Trump can’t afford to post the bond for it, so expect more all-caps posts on Truth Social where he cries about the witch hunt against him but keeps E. Jean’s name out of his puckered orange anus mouth.
This is an excellent time to remind everyone that after losing to E. Jean, Trump is now poised to keep losing every other court case on his calendar this year. The GOP is so far beyond normalcy that they’re allowing an adjudicated rapist facing 91 civil and criminal charges to represent them because *checks notes* Chris Christie isn’t compromised enough, got it.
Things can only get worse for Trump from here and I’m going to gorge myself on the schadenfreude. Mainly because that might be the only way I can feed myself if I don’t get a job or a book deal soon.
I got one of the better rejection letters ever from a literary agent, which is a weird thing to say, but it’s true.
Now, you might be thinking (as I was), if there are so many positive things about The Sound of Settling, why not try? I can be a “tireless champion” while you help me get my rock & roll love story out into the world, FFS.
I will never, ever give up on getting a proper publishing deal for The Sound Of Settling. As of today, I’ve sold 463 copies, 13 of which were bought in the last three days. I’m up to 21.5K pages read on the Kindle. I’ve written the first draft of the sequel that readers have been demanding for months. They also want a streaming series and SO DO I!
This is where I once again ask you, Dear Reader, to boost my beloved book. If you can’t afford to buy it (and no one understands this better than I do, considering I’m once again short on the rent), please share it on your socials. The Yes Person is out there, I know they are.
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