RECOUNT 2024

We're better than they are and we need to prove it

When MAGA Republicans were sad about losing the 2020 election, they brought over 60 court challenges with all sorts of desperate claims.

Democrats laughed it off, bemused at the attempts, because we don’t have to cheat to win anything. We had nothing to hide, so we were like, "Knock yourselves out, losers." We treated the efforts like experienced parents letting their toddlers tire themselves out. Eventually, they stopped, even if they never really admitted they lost.

What we’re experiencing now is NOTHING like that. I’ve already written about how the math isn’t mathing, and now people who are really good at math are saying it too.

In fact, they wrote a letter to Vice President Kamala Harris all about the hinky shit surrounding the 2024 election results, and HOT DAMN do they want a recount!

The problem is that no one seems to know about this letter. As always, I’m here to help.

I mean, seems worth doing to me, right?

It’s like Matt Hooper says to Chief Martin Brody in Jaws: “I want to be sure. You want to be sure. We all want to be sure.”

I don’t care what it “looks like” or if it “makes us look like MAGA.”

This is DIFFERENT.

This is standing up to fascist fuckery and making sure it doesn’t just walk through the front doors of the White House without us putting up the biggest fight of our lives. This is making sure Matt Rapey McForehead Gaetz isn’t the Attorney General. Marco Rubio for Secretary of State and RFK Jr heading HHS? Get all the way bent with that shit. It just feels like we’re being uber-punked. I imagine them all sitting around Mar-a-Lago doing endless rails of Adderall, and then Elon says something like, “Hey, what if we make Lara a Senator and Mike Huckabee Ambassador to Israel?” and then everyone laughs until they Adderall-shit themselves like Trump does several times a day.

Those Cabinet nominations alone should be enough to scare you into at least calling your members of Congress. I’d rather not die from a smallpox outbreak or be disappeared to a concentration camp because Democrats were more concerned about a peaceful transfer of power than investigating the obvious fuckery by Leon Musktrump-Putin.

Didn’t someone say WHEN WE FIGHT, WE WIN? Pretty sure she did. Because I was there in the room when she said it.

I made a promise to Ms. Burnadine, the AKA Soror who saved me on that final night of the DNC. I promised her I would do the hard work every day. I PROMISED. I’m doing this hard work now for everyone, but every day I think of Ms. Burnadine and the joy we shared that night. I think about how she took both of my hands in hers, looked me in the eye, and put me to work. I won’t let her down.

Are you going to let Ms. Burnadine down? I DON’T THINK YOU ARE. Look at her. Rise up for Ms. Burnadine. Rise up for your country.

I need to know I did everything I could to make sure that these dipshit douchebags didn’t turn the US government into a crypto scheme while enslaving women and brainwashing public school kids with the Trump Bible. Musk should be hauled in front of the House Judiciary Committee ASAP.

We are neither helpless nor hopeless. Democrats are still in power. Share that letter EVERYWHERE, particularly with your Reps & Senators.

RESIST FASCISM.