Since Everyone Else is Recapping 2023, I Might As Well Do It, Too

This year was mostly an asshole, which is why we need to make 2024 our bitch

Dec 29, 2023

This year had started so promisingly for me personally that I dared have a sense of optimism even as the world continued to burn all around me.

In January 2023, I had not one, but TWO full-time remote writing jobs that put enough money in my bank account that I’d enjoyed my first worry-free holiday season in YEARS. If I keep this up, I said to myself as I looked at the hefty balance that remained after paying the rent, I can put a down payment on a house and move out in May!

And then, one of the political websites I had been writing for since the summer of 2020 began imploding and laying off writers based on when they’d been hired. My turn came in mid-February, but the other writing gig was still enough to be my lone source of income.

Until we were informed we all had to take a pay cut. Things continued to go downhill financially for me until my layoff on July 25th.

I’ve been unemployed ever since, and it’s been the longest period I’ve gone without steady work in a decade. One fun thing about being a freelancer is that a lot of these gigs don’t have a traditional 1040 or W-2, which means I didn’t qualify for unemployment benefits. I have been squeaking by thanks to generous family members and kind people who’ve paid for this Substack (THANK YOU) or helped me out via Venmo (THANK YOU!).

You’d think at such an insane time in politics, websites would be begging me to write for them. But thanks to Elon suppressing outside links from Twitter and AI doing all the resume reading these days, I haven’t been able to get anything going. I’ve tried all the places you’d expect from me: Daily Beast, Salon, Axios, etc. No one ever responds. It’s really frustrating to watch my political tweets get hundreds of thousands of engagements but no one who pays people to write about politics seems to see those.

So, if you have connections/suggestions, hook a girl up here.

Taylor Swift dominated this year in all of the ways, including my iTunes. I didn’t get to see her Eras Tour live, but I did finally get to watch the movie at home and I am more of a Swiftie Over 50 now than I was 12 months ago. Also, I love her with Travis Kelce and they should make babies together.

Now, summing up this year in politics would essentially just be one long primal scream. But at least we’re heading into 2024 with Trump being disqualified in Maine, not that Susan Collins will ever do the right thing and keep her mouth shut. However, I still believe that Trump won’t be the GOP nominee because he’s a rapist criminal traitor who’s in a world of shit, and I don’t just mean sitting around in his oversaturated Depends.

BTW, I predict Chris Christie will actually be the GOP’s nominee and Biden/Harris will beat him easily.

Also, George Santos is making more money on Cameo than he did in Congress, because we no longer have anything resembling political norms. It’s honestly not funny and there’s no reason why an expelled grifting criminal traitor facing 23 felony charges and a stint at Riker’s should be getting one penny of anyone else’s money to pay his legal fees.

Related: you can pay ME to say actually funny things on Cameo, because I’m a good person who’s never been expelled from anywhere, let alone Congress. I’ve also never committed any felonies or grifted millions of campaign funds to go shopping and get Botox and I’m definitely not in any danger of ending up in prison.

@taradublinrocks #stitch with @Cameo #HireTara on #Cameo instead of grifting criminal traitor George Anthony Devolder Zabrovsky Kitara Ravache Jingleheimer Schmidt Santos cameo.com/taradublinrocks

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It’s frustrating as fuck to know how talented you are—because people tell you that you are over and over—and yet you’re not getting the breaks you deserve. When did it get this hard for good people to get ahead?

Our society is so broken. I wish I could scream “STOP REWARDING THE DUMB AND CRIMINALLY INSANE” into every American voter’s face.

Dayum.

Anyway, 2023 was a shitshow for everyone in its own special way, but I did get a few beautiful highlights out of it anyway.

There is my beloved Low Bar Chorale, the pub choir where I found my people. Every meetup, every special show at other venues, every get-together with my community is an immediate emotional boost. If you’re in Portland, or you’re planning a visit here, you MUST come check us out. We welcome ALL voices. We don’t care how well you sing, we just care that you WANT to sing. Group singing makes you feel good physically as well, and no one leaves that room in a bad mood.

I promise that we’re not a cult, even though we do have t-shirts.

Finally, 2023 was the year I self-published my rock & roll love story THE SOUND OF SETTLING inspired by my ultimate meet-cool with Dave Grohl in 2001. It was terrifying to release something I loved this much into the wild without the protection of a proper publishing deal and no agent to advocate for me.

I was so scared that people would be disappointed by it, because I’m known for being funny and sarcastic and political, and it isn’t a satirical political novel in any way.

But the first reviews were so positive! And then the others (the real ones, not the fake 1-star ones from the MAGA jerks) were too! And they all kept saying the same things.

You get the drift. Also, the stats on this final Friday of the year are incredible:

411 copies sold.
Nearly 18K pages read on Kindle.
13 people read my whole book in the last 7 days.

The numbers don’t lie! And the demands for a sequel have now resulted in 100 pages of a new draft. It’ll make The Sound of Settling an even easier sell if I already have a sequel in place. Also, I still think Taylor Swift would love it and want to write a song about it, if anyone can connect us.

I’ve decided that 2024 is fucking ours, Lila and Grady. You’re gonna buy me that house I couldn’t buy last year, my friends, oh yes you are. Because Henry Winkler has taught me to throw out the words “I can’t” and replace them with “I just did.”

Join me, my friends, in making 2024 our collective bitch. But until such time, please consider helping out this good person who’s ready to end this temporary situation with a real and lasting solution:

1. Buy the book! #TheSoundOfSettling

http://taradublinrocks.com

2. Upgrade to Paid!