THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER
Long live the Cat Ladies for Kamala!
Today I learned from one of my lifelong Sheroes, Valerie Bertinelli, what “the dog days of August” actually means.
“The last dog day of summer. I have spent 64 years not knowing what that actually meant, so I looked it up.
“It has nothing to do with dogs and everything to do with Sirius, the dog star. The dog days of summer are the 20 days before and the 20 days after Sirius has become visible in the east when the sky is still dark right before sunrise.”
I always thought it meant those unbearably hot and endless August days when it seemed like the sun would never set and the mere thought of going outside made you exhausted. That still kind of applies when you’re single, it’s the weekend, and all of your small circle of friends are busy or out of town, but that’s too whiny when you look at the national mood boost over the last three weeks.
This August, the heat exhaustion has been replaced by well-hydrated exuberance thanks to the joyous Harris-Walz campaign that’s making MAGA very bigly mad. It’s so much fun watching them all melt down, starting with King Baby himself. Lying about Willie Brown, rambling unchecked to the press, being extra racist about Kamala, JD “Vladimir Futon” Vance being so historically unpopular, he’s tracking in the negative double digits…it’s all one big late summer cookout for Democrats, with not a single raisin in sight. Check out this delicious menu item, for example:
SO TASTY! Somewhere, JD Vance’s fainting couch is begging for a night off.
I’m very much enjoying the “Obama 2008 on steroids energy” of the Harris-Walz campaign. I love all the Tim Walz memes.
I’m more than ready to watch former prosecutor Kamala Harris crush convicted felon Donald Trump at their Sept. 10th debate, which is *checks notes*:
—five days after Judge Tanya Chutkan’s newly rescheduled status conference
—four days after Trump’s rematch with E. Jean Carroll
—eight days before Trump’s sentencing in New York
Sleepy Don better start going to bed earlier instead of fear-sharting all over Truth Social at 3 am, he’s going to need to stay awake in courtrooms for a while.
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So I feel like maybe the Harris campaign will be coming prepared with so many facts that if Trump actually shows up, he’ll most likely shlump off stage Kamala shuts him down like she did when she bodied Mike Pence in 2020.
I feel like we should be placing bets on how long he lasts because Trump can’t stand it when people won’t let him lie.
You know, like they did at that bullshit news conference the other day that made Lawrence O’Donnell so mad, the man threw down the transcript of Trumpian word salad onto his desk, his disgust with the media on full display.
Lawrence, my man, I feel you. I’ve been writing about this for a long time. He should have me on The Last Word, it would be one hell of a lively conversation.
Most of my time over the next few months will be spent on politics. But with the dog days of August ending, that means September is coming, marking the first anniversary of when I self-published The Sound of Settling. I had no idea how it would be received, and people love it, and as of today, I’ve sold 736 copies. With Elon being a dick suppressing high-profile liberal accounts, it’s been a slow sales summer, and I’d love your help by buying/boosting it to hit my new goal of 1000 sold by my 1-year publishing anniversary, September 8th.
Thank you, I love you!
And now, let’s close with the earworm we began with, because I’m taking the lyrics to heart.
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive
Orange Crush(ed) is what will go down September 10. You called it Tara. For the first time Daniel Dale`s lie counting machine will remain cool and not burst into flames. Kamala will give man-baby "the look" .......calmly state...."I'm talking" and his diaper will....runnith' over..........by the way, diaper donny better take a few spare boxes of the industrial stength Depends for all those upcoming court dates.
Am I the only one who remembers when George F. Will and others criticized Bill Clinton for having a cat instead of a dog? I was always pretty sure that when the Clintons acquired their dog Buddy that it was a political move to shake the perception that they were cat people and somehow un-American.