THE MAGA STUPID IS BURNING MY CORNEAS

They really will believe anything Trump says

It’s not new news that Trump voters aren’t exactly top-tier thinkers.

The “Do Your Own Research” crowd never actually looks up any facts, lest they figure out that they’ve been duped yet again by the lyingest liar in the history of lying. Independent thought is anathema (a word they’ve never heard and wouldn’t begin to guess at what it means), and they’ll twist themselves into a conspiracy pretzel to avoid any facts about Trump.

But they embrace every lie about any Democrat without a single hesitation. Don’t tell them they’re in a cult, though, they really don’t like that. Because it’s another truth they can’t comprehend.

When it comes to dealing with stupid people, we can either attempt to help them get a little more educated, or we can watch them dangle and embarrass themselves because they don’t need our help at all for that.

The latest foray into extreme MAGA stupidity is playing out right now on the Nazi app, where they are fully pushing this as fact. I wish this was a parody or The Onion. Oh, how I wish that.

Okay, so here are the actual TRUTHS that the MAGA cult is already denying:

First of all, the military has NOT been deployed to California.

There isn’t a faucet up here in the Pacific Northwest. Also, California isn’t part of the PNW. California is California. PERIOD.

Lil RicKKKy here is just one example of the MAGA cult not being able to accept the limitations of science and geography, leaning solely into the argument of “NUH UH TRUMP SAID SO, INFINITY!” while also using the R word. Hello, irony, my old friend, you’ve come to elude the MAGA cult once again.

Water from the Columbia River empties INTO THE PACIFIC OCEAN and cannot be magically diverted to Los Angeles, because GEOGRAPHY IS REAL.

It would be great if they knew anything about the country they claim to love. RicKKKy got real quiet once he figured out that folding a map doesn’t change the topography in real life. Why don’t you take that map and shove it up your dumb ass sideways, cult freak?

*exhales in Smart Kid*

Aside from MAGA trying to pretend Trump didn’t take credit for RAIN, he’s been busy continuing his attempts to kill as many of us as possible in one fell swoop. Today, one of his evil henchmen is attempting to freeze all Medicaid/Medicare and SNAP benefits, which is the polar opposite of helping people.

The first member of the White House Press Corps who asks Trump why he’s trying to kill us gets a Pulitzer.

Sen. Chuck Schumer sort of finally found his spine under a pile of coats somewhere and let the Project 2025 PAB know that the judges appointed by President Joe Biden aren’t going to let that happen so easily.

Now we just have to keep piling on our Democratic leadership to STOP THIS FUCKING FASCIST NOW. Memos sent to federal employees are full of Heritage Foundation bullshittery and they all have to be stopped.

Speaking of speaking truth to power, you know that’s what I do. We need to get me on MSNBC ASAP, but despite my constant tagging of all the MSNBC hosts who follow me back, none has responded. They need to make up for the Lindy Li lies they broadcast by having real Democratic influencers on the air to give daily masterclasses on handling Trump.

Like, how much more of a resume do I need besides this nearly 10-year-old Badge of Honor?

I’m exhausted and it’s only Day Two of Week Two. Cmon, MSNBC bookers, put me on the air and watch ratings magic happen.

And now it’s time to take a break from the terrible and brag about my beloved book, The Sound of Settling, which has now passed the 1000th copies sold Rubicon and needs to get picked up by a proper publisher already. What more do I have to do to prove I’m an untapped writing goldmine with a commercial hit and a built-in audience that’s been demanding a sequel and a streaming series?

So once again, I ask you to buy/boost my rock and roll love story, because the world needs more love, not another superhero movie.