TRUMP BARELY MADE IT THROUGH DAY ONE OF HIS ELECTION INTERFERENCE/HUSH MONEY TRIAL
What will six weeks to do him? And, more importantly, to us?
ICYMI, “Don Snoreleone” (coined by my friend Dee) is a viral thing now. The mook who poked at his former opponent by calling him “Sleepy Joe” (despite the fact that Joe Biden was often seen riding a bike, something else that makes Trump’s jealous snowflake fee-fee’s melt down extra fast) kept falling asleep in court yesterday, the first day of his first criminal trial.
*chef’s kiss*
Everyone could see that he hadn’t slept a wink the night before, thanks to his puffy red lizard eyes.
How does he not own eyedrops? And you know he doesn’t have a makeup artist anymore, because they’d at least attempt to unpack that baggage a little bit.
Way to impress potential jurors there, loser!
Trump tried to get out of sitting in court during voir dire, mainly because he doesn’t want to have to hear the 34 charges against him read over and over to the pool of 500 jurors. Fifty were released yesterday after saying they couldn’t be impartial, for whatever their reasons were. Using his final son Barron’s high school graduation AND his pointless immunity case before SCOTUS as reasons didn’t help him with Judge Merchan.
*WAAAAAAH*
First of all, he didn’t attend any of his other kids’ graduations because he doesn’t care about anyone but himself. He’s fine with using them as excuses/scapegoats, but never follows through. Everyone is already predicting that Trump won’t go to Barron’s graduation if the schedule allows for it, which is actually what Judge Merchan ruled.
Also, asking to leave one court to go to a higher court is on-brand for this entitled criminal. Trump doesn’t deserve immunity and the hope is that SCOTUS will rule that way, but he also wasn’t there when his other SCOTUS case was denied.
Again, a truly innocent person would want to be in court 100% of the time to clear their name as fast as possible, with all the energy required to show the jury their true self.
This is Trump on Day Two, before the next round of jury selection. Cmon now, Republicans. I’m not rooting for any of you, but you really need to give Chris Christie a call and see if he’ll come back to the campaign trail. Paw Paw is sundowning hard and fast, plus he’s going to lose this trial and all the other ones to follow.
”Hey nice laaaaaddddy!”
Trump fully understands that if he skips even one day of this trial, he’ll be arrested. He told the Judge so yesterday.
And, he’s already violated his gag order! While I was writing this, Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg formally filed contempt charges against him.
Day TWO. He could get locked up and tried in absentia, y’all. I can’t wait to see how this plays out.
Let’s sing our new favorite song together, shall we?
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ALSO: we’re T-Minus TEN DAYS to my 55th birthday, so a boost for my book The Sound of Settling would be greatly appreciated. Aside from world peace, all I want for my birthday is a proper publishing deal, which would hopefully result in an option to adapt my rock and roll love story into the streaming series my readers have been demanding, along with the sequel. Which is written, but has room for you if you upgrade your subscription to one of the two top tiers! Let’s make April the best month yet for my beloved book! 💖💖💖
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