TRUMP IS GAGGED, BUT HIS SURROGATES AREN'T
Here's why this is bad for Joe Biden
The adjudicated rapist fraud who raw-dogged an adult film star while his third wife was recovering from giving birth to his fifth child can’t talk about his criminal trial, so he’s bullied a bunch of his compromised henchmen to do it for him.
All of the cravenly opportunistic sycophants gunning for Donald Trump’s VP pick have been suddenly showing up in New York to share all of Trump’s grievances with the press because sundowning Paw Paw can’t do it during his daily invisible accordion concerts in front of the courthouse.
All I see are a bunch of fucking traitors, Gums McGaryBuseyIsMyRealDad.
Yes, you’re seeing what you’re seeing. That’s the Speaker of the House with them. And that’s nowhere near the realm of okay.
I mean, Vivek “Rhymes With Fake For All of the Reasons” Ramasmarmy doesn’t have anything else to do, so it’s fine if he wants to showboat in the big city. Trump isn’t going to choose him because he doesn’t want to always have to stand next to a brown man. Sidebar to Tim Scott: your fake fiancee isn’t helping you and Donny Photo Op is only going to use you as another surrogate.
ALSO TRUMP SHOULD NOT BE ANYONE’S CANDIDATE FOR ANYTHING WHEN HE WAS ARRESTED FOUR! TIMES! LAST! YEAR!
(Seriously, does anyone work at the FEC? Is that a gig I could do remotely? Because updating the rules about running for office in America to make sure no Russian stooges are in power would be a good start and I have plenty of free time).
But ANYWAY, Speaker Jesus Freak shouldn’t be there. Sitting members of Congress—as dubious as their places there are—shouldn’t be there either.
And yet, there was anti-woman, anti-science Alabama football coach Tommy Tuberville in full slack-jawed yokel mode whining about the defendant being referred to as “Mr.” instead of “former President” by the prosecution. You might recall Tubervillain from all of his other cringeworthy public statements that just keep proving my points for me on the daily. Don’t you have some more bodily autonomy to take away from your constituents, Cletus? Go home.
Also blatantly whoring himself out is lying fake MAGAt JD “Hillbilly Effigy” Vance, who you might recall had a movie made from his lying fake memoir. Vance, who seems to have decided that loving Vladimir Putin more than America is a valid life choice, hated Donald Trump enough to tweet about how much he hated Donald Trump. But then Hillbilly Effigy found out that he couldn’t get a single Republican vote in Ohio without courting favor from MAGA, and now we’re stuck with his inexperienced traitorous loserdom in our Senate. YAY MURICA!
What we need to see are more Joe Biden surrogates on TV talking up his ever-growing list of major accomplishments as a counterpoint to Trump’s long list of felony charges. Democrats have a wonderfully deep bench of excellent public speakers, none of whom are currently under investigation or need to take a day off from being in Congress to show up for a criminal whose own daughter won’t testify on his behalf. Wouldn’t you rather see Gov. Gavin “Studly” Newsom on MSNBC instead of anyone Trumpy? I know I would. The Biden-Harris Administration is incredibly successful, but the MSM would rather cover the clown show at the courthouse and elsewhere.
Once again, the normalization of this abnormality is unconscionable. Sometimes my female rage overwhelms me and a tweet isn’t enough. So I make phone calls and say all of the things the First Amendment allows me to say.
Tubervillain, Hillbilly Effigy, and Speaker Jesus Freak all got VM’s from little old me, because nobody wants to work for any of them.
Thankfully, they’re all getting dragged on Twitter for being there. It’s just embarrassing to have the whole world watching this obvious treason in real time along with the rest of us who live on Earth One.
I’m also thankful that Taylor Swift trademarked “FEMALE RAGE: THE MUSICAL” after she added songs from “The Tortured Poets Department” to the Eras Tour. This instantly iconic photo is now the symbol for all women who are furious about the GOP continuing their efforts to control our bodies. EXPECT US.
I’m absolutely infuriated, as even a casual reader of this Substack could surmise. My skin is constantly on fire watching this endless shitshow. Nobody should tolerate it.
*PRIMAL CLEANSING SCREAM*
Okay, then. Since I always like to end on a positive note: an Oscar winner is currently reading The Sound of Settling. I won’t tell you who it is, because I can’t expect anything to come out of it, but should it result in something, of course I’ll be more than happy to share.
For now, I’ll just keep humbly asking you to share my beloved rock and roll love story with everyone you know on all of your socials. Sharing a post or a link costs nothing but a few minutes. If you’re able to buy a copy, that would be great. I’m almost at 650 copies sold on Kindle/paperback via Amazon. And while the warehouse has backup copies, there are only three left on the shelf at Powell’s in Portland. Try not to cause a stampede, locals!
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651 Kindle copies sold.......