WHEN I'M RIGHT, I'M RIGHT

More people really should start listening to me

My parents should have named me Cassandra instead of Tara.

Throughout my life, I’ve said things would happen or voiced an opinion that just felt right. And I have always ALWAYS been blown off, particularly by men who had hired me to work for them, which is weird. Like, you thought I had the goods, so why don’t you listen to a thing I say now?

I don’t think I’m right 100% of the time, because no one is. I’m the first one to admit when I’m wrong, because I care more about the truth way more than my ego. But when I’m right, I’m super extra right.

Allow me to cite just a few examples from my time as a radio DJ to lay some groundwork here.

My first on-air gig was at a tiny alternative station in Augusta, Georgia (my now-Wasband was going to medical school there), where I moved from overnights to co-hosting morning drive within two weeks. My boss sent me to Athens (where I’d gone to college) along with our Music Director to check out the band Belly at the 40 Watt Club. When I went to work the next day, he asked about Belly. "Belly is LOVELY, super nice people, but they’re not going to be the big band. The opener is going to be ginormous though." My boss laughed in my face because EVERYONE thought that band was a one-hit wonder.

That band was…Radiohead.

I also told that same boss that I thought Beck would be more than a one-hit wonder and he was all NAH.

Let the career of Internally Screaming All the Time begin!

In 2004, I landed the dreamiest dream job doing middays at KNRK (“94/7 Alternative Portland) and almost immediately created their top money-making event that they still do every year (minus COVID), the December to Remember Concert Series. Why no, I never get any money from that, silly!

My boss put Keane and Snow Patrol together on one show, and I asked him why Keane was the headliner when I knew they weren’t going to be a major band. “All the girls love adorable little blond Tom,” he said.

“Well, I’m actually a girl,” I replied, “and I’m telling you the girls love tall gorgeous dreamy Gary Lightbody.”

And he was all NAH.

Before the show, I told Snow Patrol in their dressing room that I had fought for them to headline, and they thanked me profusely. A few months later, they released a little ditty called “Chasing Cars,” which was featured on the DENNY DIES episode of a little show called Grey’s Anatomy. When Snow Patrol came back to play December to Remember 2005, they were the rightful headliners and Gary Lightbody gave me a shout-out. My boss never apologized or told me I was right.

It happened over and over again during the five years I was on the air.

In 2007, my boss called me into his office after my show was over to listen to some new CDs sent to us by various labels. He respected me enough to ask my opinion about the singles the labels had chosen. Here’s one conversation I’ll never forget because guess what? I WAS RIGHT AGAIN.

Him: This is a new Canadian artist called Feist. “My Moon, My Man” is the first single.

Me (after listening for about 45 seconds): That's fine, but “1234” is going to be a smash hit.

Him: You think?

Me: Not only that, I bet she’ll be on Sesame Street within a year singing it with some Muppets

Him: *laughs at me*

Cut to:

Also in 2007, I told him the station should stream online and get a Facebook page because the internet wasn’t ever going away and we needed to capitalize on that kind of exposure.

Boss: Why would we do that?

In 2008, everyone was looking for the next Amy Winehouse. My boss got a little crush on one of the also-rans.

Boss: I like this girl, Duffy. "Mercy" is going to be ENORMOUS & she's going to be a huge star!

Me: She's cute, but she's a one-hit Winehouse knockoff. We should be playing Adele! She might lean a little pop, but she's going to be around forever, and since our slogan is “It’s Different Here,” I think we should be playing “Chasing Pavements.”

Boss: NAH

Now, let’s fast-forward to Election Night, 2016. I’m standing in a stairwell at the Oregon Convention Center in Portland with my friends, smoking what was supposed to be a celebratory joint. “Watch,” I said, passing the dutchie, “we’re going to find out that Russia helped him cheat to steal the election.”

AND I WAS RIGHT.

So when I say Elon Musk helped Donald Trump cheat to win this election too, I know in my bones that I’m right. Because I AM RIGHT.

Trump has never done anything legitimately, so why would anyone accept these results without a challenge? It makes no sense to me and it’s infuriating watching everyone capitulate to a dictator six full weeks before he can be sworn in.

WHICH HE SHOULD NOT BE, because the 14th Amendment explicitly prevents insurrectionists from being the President. So why aren’t Congressional Democrats using the 14th?

I can’t keep screaming into the abyss like this. Aside from being terrified, I feel abandoned by Democratic leadership.

We’re not going to have another chance to save this country if we don’t do everything we can NOW.

Don’t blow me off. I’m right about Elon helping Trump. Thom Hartmann isn’t a conspiracy theorist and he’d never entertain any bullshittery. THIS IS REAL.

CALL YOUR MEMBERS OF CONGRESS and demand they push back with every legal option available to them. Follow my example, if need be. Just don’t be a bystander, don’t be silent, and don’t ever capitulate to fascism.

Don’t make me come back here to say I TOLD YOU SO. We don’t want to live in the I TOLD YOU SO, my friends.

(ps, and please buy my book while women are still allowed to read and write)